Love Lost

“Baby, you love me naa?” Manisha threw the crucial question to Varun, who in turn remained silent for a few moments and answered it positively. “Uhh, you took five seconds? Are you really sure?” Manisha, counting each of those seconds, looked desperate to confirm Varun’s ‘Yes’. “Absolutely baby!” Varun replied to back himself up.

There are bunches of such Manishas and Varuns who interrogate each other with the same bloody question either daily, weekly or monthly to ensure that they do continue to form a “couple”. Enter the new keyword of lovemaking- ‘Assurance’. Imagine receiving and giving love to the sale of an insurance policy and receiving assured returns. Might sound pretty cheap and unconventional, but that’s the attitude most of the so called ‘lovers’ have when it comes to displaying ‘true love’ for each other.

Vijay, a final year grad student, is a popular guy within his friend circle because he has got a ‘girlfriend’- an entity that provides him with status, prestige and something to boast about. Well, that’s actually a ‘big deal’ according to his buddies, who seem more concerned with Vijay’s love life and their own sorry state of affairs (for not ‘bagging’ a ‘girlfriend’) rather than their grades and careers ahead.

Off late, the definition of love has undergone a radical change and is well on its way to be regarded as a ‘timepass’, ‘show off’, ‘physical pleasure’ and a mockery of all sorts. In a way, the ‘boyfriends’ are loving their ‘girlfriends’ just for the sake of it- mechanically, with or without a purpose, simply to shout about it. Hats off to those who beg to differ and offer true love its due worth.

Anyone who wants to vouch his or her love does so with a frequent kiss, as if that is the installment for the loan of love. Spending the day out at a coffee shop, shelling out big bucks for expensive gifts, holding hands and dancing vigorously at pubs and finally, a ‘night out’ together in bed- these are the key parameters for judging modern ‘true love’. “Everything is fair in love and sex” is the slogan of the day. There are still such parents who can’t even dream of their sons kissing their better-halves before marriage; forget sex- that would be ‘the unimaginable’ for them. Yes, this is a side effect of globalization and westernization. Any boy or girl of today would come up to me and say, “Oh come on, you are sick! You are old-fashioned, we’ve to be like this….” But don’t we have an identity of our own? We are shredding off an originality to become something else that we really can’t. Why do we have to dump our age-old ideologies of making love and take up these so called ‘cool and trendy’ methods (which are otherwise adoption errors and ape mannerisms) to prove our relationships? Just because we are in the 21st century and that we need to match up with some other cultures and equate? That’s definitely not a sign of development. Neither is it going to affect our world rankings as far as agriculture is concerned nor is it doing any good to our educational system. Yes, in a way, it is lifting up our economy going by the amount of money spent on the ‘maintenance’ of love- Archies, Hallmark, Café’ Coffee Day and Barista have established their brands big time, sale of mobile phones has shoot up, the mobile phone operators have offered better deals for the ‘couples’ to talk throughout the nights and so on and so forth. Fair enough, but overall, we are missing a lot- emotions are drying up, bonds are vanishing and today, we cannot even imagine a condition-less relationship.

Why can’t two simple red roses be exchanged to signify love? Why can’t everyday be a Valentine’s Day? Why will there be ‘Ifs’ and ‘Buts’ when two people are thinking alike and respecting each other’s feelings? Why are we mixing up love and sex? Why can’t anyone’s actions represent true and pure love? Love is not about the number of phone calls you made or the SMSes you sent or the total amount of money you spent on the gifts. It is the number of times you felt like being with someone special, went into the shoes of the other person and spoke his or her words and co-operated with each other walking side by side. It takes guts to express real feelings and utter those three magic words- “I Love You!” If one can’t give love to the other person, how can he expect to receive the same? Why are we ending up complicating the simple fundamentals of love? The basic premise is all the same; all we need to do is perceive it and follow it with the right spirit.

On A High

Comeback- a much needed ‘breather’ for anyone who has not tasted success for long, a reply from someone who has been quiet for sometime, a relief from a continual disappointment. It is not the normal crest phase that we undergo in the up-and-down games of our daily lives. It is rather one of those unusual crests which we cherish and draw inspiration from. It forces us to punch a fist in the air and say aloud, “Yes, I can….” To feel the rejuvenation involved in any comeback in its truest sense, one first needs to see through testing times which pose all sorts of challenges.

Be it a Sachin Tendulkar or a Shahrukh Khan or any damn star personality, everyone has been subjected to tough times and have made outstanding comebacks at some point or the other. These comebacks are one of those fabulous mentors in our lives whose teachings can never be overemphasized. They certainly load oodles of confidence in us but warn us not to be complacent or bask in their glory. They bring the best out of us, demand a high level of discipline and demonstrate our worth through an act of self-discovery.

A comeback underlines the fact that one is desperate to prove a point. It is utmost important to realize that the point is to be proven to no one but self at the very first instance, then to someone else. We often fail to do this, fall prey to over-confidence and lose our focus. Once that focus is gone, no matter how hard we try, we can’t get back to the mode of self-actualization and pursuit for excellence. Let me connect this with a simple example involving the game of cricket. An out-of-form batsman just having scored his century gets so much occupied in answering his critics and gesturing to the audience that he overlooks the benefit done to himself by lifting up his alarming career. At the very next moment, he sacrifices his prized wicket though he was well in shape to get a double or a triple hundred or may be even more than that.

A tough time is a pre-condition to a big comeback provided we back it up with commitment, optimism and sheer hard work. There are no short cuts to comeback. It doesn’t follow a set pattern or show results on applying a formula. Though, in corporate cultures, some ‘smart’ workers might claim fame without actually doing a piece of the job, it surely fails to infuse the real satisfaction of achievement in them. That is a short-sighted approach and can never be termed as a comeback. It is much like crossing a river by riding on someone’s back without fathoming its depth. Any comeback calls for involvement and willpower. The real test lies in sustaining the confidence gained through a comeback, and applying it during unfavorable situations. Once that falls in place, the hard times do not seem that much harsh. Also, that generates the hunger for frequent comebacks, which in turn only leads to continuous improvement and perfection.