More Or Less It's Life

What You See Is What You Get,

That's the simple rule of life.

Neither a tad more, nor a little less,

But our expectations are rife.

It's tough to compromise,

To admit and say, "That's all I want".

Somewhere within the heart says,

"Sorry, no, never, I can't".

Greed is so evident and pervasive,

We are its mere preys.

Always luring us to ask for more,

Indulging us in baseless frays.

Unlike an open bet,

Life is a well planned game.

Is it worth desiring more

Just to earn a little fame?

Let Them Be Kids

My cellphone rang. It was my three-year old nephew on the other side, who started singing the title song from the recently released Hindi movie, "Rock On". Normally, he gives me a call at his wish, without even informing or asking his mom (my elder sister). And believe me, he sang it with perfection and in a clear voice, pronouncing each and every word exactly like the original one. I was surprised and kept mum for a few seconds. Then, could not stop but praise him by saying, "Ten-on-ten!" He was overjoyed and soon handed over the phone to his mom.

He is an element of study for me who constantly keeps on surprising me by performing such unimaginable acts. And every time, I have to say, "Wow! ten-on-ten!" This is a compliment he is getting used to. His school teacher is slowly imbibing in him the habit of earning this 'gift'. Be it a class test or a homework, he is always expected to get a "ten-on-ten". It was hard to believe for me, at least in the case of a three-year old kid. But, this is the reality that every child is facing in today's world of cut-throat competition, perfection and complexities.

Modern-day kids have got all the unique attributes to be regarded as 'special'- they can do everything so perfectly which we can not even imagine putting ourselves in their shoes. They are matured, aggressive, intellectually gifted, emotionally at par with their parents (as far as 'emotional blackmailing' is concerned) and always one-step ahead. Their message is pretty clear: "Do not mess with us". They mean business, and their attitude is no non-sense.

Archit, the seven year-old son of my next door neighbour, has to put on very high power spectacles, and visit the optician every month. Every morning, he has to carry his overloaded schoolbag to the bus stop where he boards the schoolbus; after coming back home, in the afternoon, he gets an hour's rest and then rushes for the tutions; having attended tutions, his mom takes him to the swimming club. Spending an hour there, after he enters home, he only feels like sleeping. But he is permitted to hit the bed only after he has completed his homework. Very rarely do I see him playing in the park adjacent to our apartment. On Sundays, or for that matter, when he is not studying or sleeping, he is either glued to Cartoon Network or playing Computer Games. He is more close to Scooby Do, Popeye and Max Payne than his family members.

At times, I feel the modern day kid is not living its own life. He or she is never expected to break certain rules and enjoy the self that lies within. The self tries to come out but is often supressed. Of course, it is crucial for the parents to guide them and keep a tab on their activities. At the same time, it is necessary to provide them their required space, understand their priorities and empathize with them. Equipped with super qualities, at some point in time, they will prepare themselves to run the race of life. But, for the meantime, let them relish the most priced phase, childhood.

Hindi Hai Hum.....

"Hindi Hai Hum, Watan Hai Hindosta Hamara" is the famous quote you might have noticed in bodies of most of the railway coaches, if you are a frequent Indian Railways traveler. The moment I saw the writing, I googled and found it to be a beautiful motivational poem written by Sir Iqbal Mohammed-exhorting all pre-independence Hindustanis to be proud of their cultural heritage:

"MAZHAV NAHIN SIKHATA AAPIS MEIN BAIR RAKHNA;
'HINDI' HAI HUM WATAN HAI HINDUSTAN HAMARA"
(Religion doesn't teach us to have mutual animosity; we are "Hindis" and Hindustan is our country)

I am not sure as to why he used the word "Hindi" in this, but for the purpose of my blog, I assume he might have stressed on this word to magnify the relevance of Hindi as the national language of India. Hindi, in fact, binds our entire nation by acting as the common mode of communication. It has got that strong force of unifying the various religions, castes, creeds and sections of the society that may have found it difficult to converse and decode each other's expressions in their respective unique languages.

Having visited several parts of India, I had the privilege of listening to various forms and ways of speaking Hindi. I could feel the variation that can happen to the utterance of the same language in four different parts of the country. And the interesting part was I could understand what was being conveyed. That is obvious in a culturally rich and diversified country like India.

Starting off with North, believed to the birthplace of Hindi, in most parts, specially Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, you will get to listen a very pleasant tone of this language. Lucknow, once ruled over by the Nawabs, is known as the land of tehzeeb (good manners). Here people use "aap" (as a mark of respect) even if they are talking to someone very young or even to children. You might even encounter some Urdu (the lingua franca of the city for centuries) words in between and may need someone to translate them. They follow a very polite and polished way of speaking.

Moving to the West, the kind of Hindi uttered here is an ad-mixture of Marathi, Gujarati and Hindi. Famous for its tapori (rowdy) style, the dialect is more of a style statement and might seem indecent at times. Words such as "Raada", "Raapchik", "Waat", "Kalti", "Jhakaas", etc. though not preferred to be used in all conversations, are imitational and humorous.

Southwards, Hyderabadi Hindi is something that is bound to tickle your funny bone. Once again a hotchpotch of Hindi, Urdu and Telugu leading to the deformation of the original Hindi. If you hear "hau", which is modified "yes" for "haan", do not interpret it as "how?". "Atoon", "jatoon" stand for "aata hoon" (coming) and "jaata hoon" (going) respectively. "Howle" is someone tagged as crazy. "Tumako" ("Tumhe") and "Merku" ("Mujhe") are Hindi words only but spoken differently here. If you are roaming around in parts of the Old City and Charminar, you might come across such a lingo. The tone in which these words are uttered is highly comical.

To the Eastern part of India, in parts of West Bengal and Orissa, specially Kolkata, the Hindi dialect is again a case of local language influence. Since speaking Bengali demands a lot of stress on "O", the flow drills down to Hindi too. That "O factor" is to be clearly observed in Hindi accent of most of the Bengalis.

To sum it up, whichever way we might speak Hindi, or whatever maybe our styles and mannerisms, we are able to communicate properly. Unity in diversity, though not pursued consciously by all, is an unconscious effort (by speaking Hindi) to unify our thoughts, actions and ethos- That is the essence of being an Indian.

Mind Your Ears

Words can be deceiving- this specially holds true if you are not paying the due attention to words. And to be attentive all we have to do is keep our ears open. Our ears act as the medium for comprehending those sounds that hit the eardrum. No, this is not a Physics or a Biology class. Let me get to the point by recalling a classic event.

It was the final semester of my MBA course and we were looking forward to get placed with some reputed organization and get our careers rolling. The competition was pretty much evident. Tensed faces around campus, people were glued to the notice boards for updates on visiting companies seeking us, busy discussing probable Group Discussion (GD) topics and interview questions.

Amidst such a situation, one of the leading MNC banks visited the camp, and there was a hullabaloo to post the CVs on the college Intranet. Within a day-an-a half, the bank had shortlisted some 100 candidates for the post of Assistant Managers, and one of my close friends, Suraj (name changed) found his name in that premier list. This guy, always short of confidence, considered this to be a landmark in his life and couldn't control his emotions. Suraj was on cloud nine and, for the first time, took this is a positive turn. He was raring to go and bag the offer. The GDs were scheduled for the next week, and Suraj had prepared really hard.

The D-Day finally arrived. Suraj was all set to shout and be heard. He was of the notion that shouting well was the only criteria for cracking GDs. However, whatever, the undercurrent of 'underconfidence' always played in his mind, and he felt inferior to others. With deep breaths, he entered the room, took his seat and waited for the topic to be declared. The invigilator declared the topic to be discussed, and Suraj could not believe his ears. The topic was "Same sex, what next?" as heard by him. What? Can that ever be a topic for discussion in an MBA placement program? Isn't that being too crazy? Suraj thought on these lines while jotting down the topic on a piece of paper. He was totally blank, finding no clues to speak on that weird topic. Two minutes were allotted to the candidates for putting their thoughts in place. And, surprisingly, everyone except Suraj were busy scribbling points and issues regarding the topic. Suraj, already low on confidence, felt like kicking himself. On the first place, he could not make out how the others were so confident to speak on such a filthy issue. However, he tried to do some brainstorming on his own without even taking a look at what his neighbours were upto. He thought, "Let me think deeply- Male and Female are the two sexes known to me; so are they talking about eunuchs? No, no, the topic is 'Same sex, what next?' Then it is surely about homogeneous sex, lesbians. But the issue is what lies above that? umm..Metrosexual, retrosexual.....Ohhh!I am not sure about these terms? What do I do now? I am a goner,this is a lost opportunity...still, let me speak first, that will create an impression". Two minutes were over, and the invigilator asked them to begin. Suraj, desperate to give it a go, was about to speak. But before he could do that, his neighbour started off uttering, "The Sensex currently standing at 15,000 is a sure sign of progress as far as FDI is concerned. India is on its way to prove its mettle to the world...." Surrounded by shock and awe, Suraj raised his eyebrows and thought of killing himself. The topic was "Sensex, what next?" and he comprehended it to be "Same sex, what next?" He could not contribute to that discussion just because he was out of his mind. Else he had done some serious readings on the stock market performance, and was ready with data. That was, infact, a 'lost opportunity'.

However, he cracked the next GD and got into a top notch consultancy firm. That morning, he made sure he cleaned up his ears with earbuds and was focused on the topic.

So next time when you hear something, make sure you are all ears and be a good listener. That makes the job of the speaker easy as well. Communication is not complete unless the comprehension is correct.

Oh Bachelor!

"6,000 bucks per month for this. Does this suit you?" asked Hameed.

It was the third day on a row I have been roaming around the Nerul area with Hameed, a broker, in search of an apartment. I found that room to be decent enough, and did not hesitate to tell, "Yes, absolutely! let's finalize this".

Hameed, enthralled to spot me as a possible source of income for himself, said, "Ok, then let's have a quick chat with the secretary of the (housing) society. We will close the deal then and there."

After the initial introduction, the secretary bombarded me with a host of queries, "Where does your family stay? How many members will be staying here? Are you married?"

The last question was nothing new for me. For the last two days, I have been hearing that from several secretaries and watchmen, and on answering that negatively, I was shown the exit gate. This time too was I was sure of the repeat scene taking place. All I had to say was "No", and the rest was the same. That apartment was also out of my reach despite of agreeing to pay as high as Rs. 6,000 per month. I stared at Hameed who was speechless. He too was in a way cursing all those people who were allergic to bachelors, specially because that was affecting his revenue stream.

Anyways, Hameed later showed me a piece of paper showcasing a chargesheet from the Belapur Police Station in the name of a guy, who was a bachelor. He was put behind the bars. "Once Mr. Gupta, his next door neighbour, complained of loud music coming out of this guy's room. He was warned thrice. Two weeks later, the watchman saw him with a girl. And that night, he was celebrating his birthday again playing loud music and shouting on the top of his voice. This time the secretary called the police. You know, I helped him get his apartment. He seemed to be a nice person. Who would know he is like this? Now, I have to find a way to get him out."

My initial rage against the anti-bachelor class somehow cooled, and I thought "there can not be smoke without fire." The suspicious housing society secretaries and watchmen were perfectly okay as far as their positions were concerned. But the moot point is "Do all bachelors represent the same meaning and characteristics?"

A bachelor, according to me, is a somewhat distorted 'species', in our so-called 'civilized, educated and westernized' society, which is often characterized by a gamut of negative adjectives- Impractical, Unorganized, Ill-behaved, Unreliable, Careless.....the list is endless. Who better than a bachelor (which I am at this point in time) can empathize with this group that is every now and then being tagged as 'Irresponsible'. No offence against anyone, these views have developed out of my experience; neither I am supporting the bachelor class nor am I being harsh towards the anti-bachelor group. What I am attempting is to put forth some of the myths that often present bachelors in wrong shades, which might again have trigerred from some isolated, irregular events engaging bachelors.

Our orthodox culture generally considers bachelors to be useless simply because they have not been able to settle down (marry and own a family) in their lives. Marriage is considered to be an auspicious happening especially in most of the communities marking the start of a new and improved life. Bachelors, yet to experience such lives, are looked down as irresponsible under the impression that they are not vowing to take up anyone's (life partner's) charge. This, in turn, renders them illogical and careless. Frustration, according to many, forms a key part of any bachelor's life. It is assumed that an inner deep-rooted negative feeling of not finding a life partner often leads to this frustration.

'Hard' drinks, cigarettes, drugs and bachelors are considered to be the best of friends. No matter what, some people easily relate a bachelor to any of these elements, often mistaken as their stress relievers. Some are of the notion that a bachelor is very much unreliable and ill-behaved as they do not have any idea of respecting themselves and caring for others.

I have many of my bachelor friends (several of them are not well educated or even employed) who regularly participate in philantrophic activities, take keen interest in reforming the society, help a blind person cross a traffic bound road and even leave seat for the elderly in a crowded bus- Are they being careless, ill-behaved, unreliable or irresponsible?? Is anyone suspecting a bachelor to be frustrated or unwilling to take up someone's responsibility considering his current problems, family background or scenario? Are all the bars and pubs infested only by bachelors? There are lots of such questions to be answered and scenarios to be analyzed by such people who blindly can't stand bachelors. It is totally unfair to judge someone based on a tarnished image.

All said and done, however, we have 'Eligible' bachelors too, who are the most desirable candidates for tying knots. Earning big bucks and claiming fame, they represent the creamy layer of this species, always wooing the opposite sex.

Bachelorhood symbolizes independence and flamboyance. It is all about being natural, confident and assertive in thoughts. And we are at our best only when we are natural.